Reverb Day 4… 1 day late!
This year, I took off the armor!
You know, the kind you see from mid-evil times. Helmet, shield and full metal body armor. Up until this year I didn’t seem to mind carrying around all that weight. I felt safe there, strong and untouchable. What changed?
The change was subtle and gradual. I began to *wonder* what it would be like to put down my shield. Wow, that was a really strange feeling… I walked a couple of days without that heavy piece of protection and it created some space, openness. I noticed a sense of approachability. More acceptance from friends, strangers and family started to flow my way. One day I tried picking up the shield again and it was too heavy to lift, but really I didn’t want to lift it anymore or again.
A sense of courage came over me and I took of the helmet, oh my! I could breathe. I could appear in any situation with my face forward and mind present. Each step of the way I shed a little more of the armor. Next, the shoes, I could stand on solid ground and find a connection, foundation. Legs, sleeves, but not the chest plate… oh HELL NO! Nobody’s getting near my heart.
Wait! I began to *wonder*, imagine, dream of love, light, support, honesty. That was my heart! The slow shedding of the armor created a safe place of *wonderment*. I began to lift off the chest plate slowly. With each inch I experienced moments of joy, hugs and love from dear people who saw my heart shine through when I took off the helmet. Once that thing came off, a flood of love rushed into my world. I understood what “receiving love” meant.
Yes, my year of *wonder*all started when the armor came off, one piece at a time. I used to walk around, ready for battle at any given moment. I could handle it all. You would find me avoiding connection, not getting too close. Love was not allowed in, only I could offer it when I damn well wanted to. I called the shots.
Today, I am “Armed wide open…” I feel a sense of wonder in every moment. When I talk with friends, I feel what they are saying and listen without needing to protect. Walking my dog, head raised high to look at the bird sitting in a tree or greet a neighbor with a friendly hello. In love, vulnerable in every experience, allowing, accepting and receiving.
I *wonder* what is in store for next year…
What have you observed about your own experience over this year? Are you open to exploring a sense of *wonder*? Don’t be afraid…