Armed wide open!

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Reverb Day 4… 1 day late!

Prompt: Wonder!

 How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

This year, I took off the armor!

You know, the kind you see from mid-evil times.  Helmet, shield and full metal body armor.  Up until this year I didn’t seem to mind carrying around all that weight. I felt safe there, strong and untouchable.  What changed? 

The change was subtle and gradual.  I began to *wonder* what it would be like to put down my shield.  Wow, that was a really strange feeling… I walked a couple of days without that heavy piece of protection and it created some space, openness.  I noticed a sense of approachability.  More acceptance from friends, strangers and family started to flow my way.  One day I tried picking up the shield again and it was too heavy to lift, but really I didn’t want to lift it anymore or again. 

A sense of courage came over me and I took of the helmet, oh my!  I could breathe.  I could appear in any situation with my face forward and mind present.  Each step of the way I shed a little more of the armor.  Next,  the shoes, I could stand on solid ground and find a connection, foundation.  Legs, sleeves, but not the chest plate… oh HELL NO!  Nobody’s getting near my heart. 

Wait! I began to *wonder*, imagine, dream of love, light, support, honesty.  That was my heart!  The slow shedding of the armor created a safe place of *wonderment*.  I began to lift off the chest plate slowly.  With each inch I experienced moments of joy, hugs and love from dear people who saw my heart shine through when I took off the helmet.  Once that thing came off, a flood of love rushed into my world.  I understood what “receiving love” meant. 

Yes, my year of *wonder*all started when the armor came off, one piece at a time.  I used to walk around, ready for battle at any given moment.  I could handle it all.  You would find me avoiding connection, not getting too close.  Love was not allowed in, only I could offer it when I damn well wanted to.  I called the shots.

Today, I am “Armed wide open…” I feel a sense of wonder in every moment.  When I talk with friends, I feel what they are saying and listen without needing to protect.  Walking my dog, head raised high to look at the bird sitting in a tree or greet a neighbor with a friendly hello.  In love, vulnerable in every experience, allowing, accepting and receiving. 

I *wonder* what is in store for next year…

What have you observed about your own experience over this year?  Are you open to exploring a sense of *wonder*? Don’t be afraid…

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