The “anti-Should”
December 20 – #Reverb10
Prompt: Beyond Avoidance!
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)
~~~~~
Considering I’ve grown to be an “anti-SHOULD” this year everything was just as it was supposed to have been. Of all the years, this year will certainly go into the books as a turning point of experience. Next year will only allow for all of the openings to become their own gardens to tend to.
To name just a few of the things I didn’t avoid…
Learning ~ To be a yoga teacher and to open up to my own soul…super cool!
Giving ~ My heart to a wonderful man; My time towards causes I believe in: Breast Cancer Awareness & Yoga
Opening ~ My eyes to see that I ”was” not STUCK in a job that I didn’t care for.
Asking ~ For help and relief both emotionally and fiscally.
As of today… I’m pretty happy with my “anti-SHOULD” status.
How about you?
What are your thoughts on the “should”?
Is there something you wish you would have accomplished this year?
True Gifts: Friends!
December 16 – #Reverb10
Prompt: Friendship!
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)
~~~~~~
In my small little world I can’t name just ONE friend that has influenced me this year. I feel extremely fortunate to have a small handful of amazing ladies who have all played an individual role in changing me and my perspective.
A capsule of each… (nicknames are just for fun)
Open Hearted ~ Has changed my experience in sharing from the heart, rather than guarding or holding back. She doesn’t tolerate vague. The learning… who cares, just go for it, talk about it…let go!
Warrior Princess ~ Oh yes, I have a warrior friend. This year she has fought every battle imaginable. Her strength and positive approach to every situation has opened my thoughts to “anything IS possible”. No matter what obstacle is in the way, there can be another route to take.
Mother of Many ~ She holds the world on her shoulders and never takes a break. This year she realized her dreams are also important. For me this gave me motivation to follow my own dreams… even though she would say the same about me.
Lil’ Diva ~ My biggest cheerleader! This gal has carried a full plate this year. Many planned occasions over the past year created some emotions, turmoil and happiness for her. Through it all, she found value in friendship and took the opportunity to listen when I needed her. The value of taking the time even when you don’t always have it… such a true gift.
The gradual burst… every step of everyday in my own trials, happiness, or experience or theirs we all were present for each other.
A sudden moment… when I was broken, they suggested “brunch on the patio, we can all wear our sunglasses and nobody will know you’re crying”…
There is so much more I could write for all to see however I don’t hold back from telling each of them how much they mean to me. There is nothing more true than loving friendships!
I am eternally grateful!
What special friend moment touched you this year?
What if… there was no what if?
Reverb Day5 –
Prompt: Let Go!
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
~~~~~~~~~
This year I said goodbye to the idea of needing a conclusion to every situation. I let go of the “What if?”
Life is too short to “fast forward” only to find out the ending before the moment even begins. I used to get so caught up in “needing to know” that I forgot about being alive. My executive structure has always penetrated my entire world.
If there were dinner plans next weekend I’d (normally) be thinking about what would happen after dinner, *what if* I don’t get invited back?
A business trip on the books…oh! *what if* I schedule a massage when I return?
You get the point… right?
As I stepped foot into 2010 I let go of the futuristic *what if’s?* and made a solid focus on enjoying each moment. Being present in the moment, as I’ve learned, is really where the gifts of life come from. Don’t get me wrong, in times of stress or heavy workloads those *what if’s* come around, but now I breathe and *LET GO!*
What can you let go of?
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Armed wide open!
Reverb Day 4… 1 day late!
Prompt: Wonder!
How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)
This year, I took off the armor!
You know, the kind you see from mid-evil times. Helmet, shield and full metal body armor. Up until this year I didn’t seem to mind carrying around all that weight. I felt safe there, strong and untouchable. What changed?
The change was subtle and gradual. I began to *wonder* what it would be like to put down my shield. Wow, that was a really strange feeling… I walked a couple of days without that heavy piece of protection and it created some space, openness. I noticed a sense of approachability. More acceptance from friends, strangers and family started to flow my way. One day I tried picking up the shield again and it was too heavy to lift, but really I didn’t want to lift it anymore or again.
A sense of courage came over me and I took of the helmet, oh my! I could breathe. I could appear in any situation with my face forward and mind present. Each step of the way I shed a little more of the armor. Next, the shoes, I could stand on solid ground and find a connection, foundation. Legs, sleeves, but not the chest plate… oh HELL NO! Nobody’s getting near my heart.
Wait! I began to *wonder*, imagine, dream of love, light, support, honesty. That was my heart! The slow shedding of the armor created a safe place of *wonderment*. I began to lift off the chest plate slowly. With each inch I experienced moments of joy, hugs and love from dear people who saw my heart shine through when I took off the helmet. Once that thing came off, a flood of love rushed into my world. I understood what “receiving love” meant.
Yes, my year of *wonder*all started when the armor came off, one piece at a time. I used to walk around, ready for battle at any given moment. I could handle it all. You would find me avoiding connection, not getting too close. Love was not allowed in, only I could offer it when I damn well wanted to. I called the shots.
Today, I am “Armed wide open…” I feel a sense of wonder in every moment. When I talk with friends, I feel what they are saying and listen without needing to protect. Walking my dog, head raised high to look at the bird sitting in a tree or greet a neighbor with a friendly hello. In love, vulnerable in every experience, allowing, accepting and receiving.
I *wonder* what is in store for next year…
What have you observed about your own experience over this year? Are you open to exploring a sense of *wonder*? Don’t be afraid…
Where it all begins… in a moment!
Reverberating Day 3
Prompt: Moment!
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
One morning in March of this year I sat on my mat, placed delicately on a beautiful mahogany wood floor in Ojai, California. I was at a “Manifestation” retreat lead by a beautiful soul Jennifer Pastiloff. The air outdoors was cool. The windows of the yoga studio were perfectly placed to reflect sun-rays across the floor. The room smelled of lavendar from savasana ”love” offered the night before. The room was filled with morning meditator’s, some were experiencing their first quiet sit and others familiar with this practice.
We were each guided to introduce ourselves followed by what we wanted to manifest in our life, in that moment, ”be specific” was suggested. We went around the room, respectfully listening to each others very personal manifestations, eyes were closed, some filled with tears I’m sure, as I know mine were.
The next suggestion sealed the entire moment for me. Suggestion: As you sit, try to “focus out”, give your stuff to the universe and leave it there, follow by sending love and support to everyone surrounding you in the room. Moments of quietly sitting, surrounded by each others powerful nurturing energy.
The meditation:
Let go of wanting – release!
Receive what I need in my heart.
Allow freedom of feelings and thoughts.
Express appreciation, gratitude & emotion.
We were each offered a beautiful reverberation. Jennifer placed a singing bowl on our “yoga” hearts and sounded the bell. The vibration was fantastic!
My eyes opened and I was alive! Everything new… and so my *transformation* took life!
What moment rings through for you?
Is there a defining moment where you felt alive, changed or simply content?
XOXO
What a mess!
#Reverb10 ”is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next.”
Today’s Prompt: Writing!
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)
I love to write! It’s such a release for me…but what are all the people going to think that read my *stuff*, I’m a mess! My answer to the thoughtful question of today’s prompt is: Self Destructive Internal Chatter!
What can I do about it? Get rid of worry and face my fear. There are no more excuses! My main *distraction* is going to be out of my life starting tomorrow afternoon, which means, the road is now open. It’s time to follow my dreams and my heart, this includes writing, and realize there are some people who are experiencing similar things and I may be able to encourge just one reader a day.
Starting now… I will focus on that last thought “encourage just one reader a day”
What encourages you?
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One Word
#Reverb10
Prompt: One Word
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)
For me *2010*: transformation!
For those who know me, no explanation needed… skip to the next paragraph!
This year has been a solid awakening to my heart and what I want most out of life. I’ve faced some fears and jumped hurdles that I never thought I could do. A nice bonus, I’ve fallen in *love*! The barriers are continuing to break down and my mission to begin my dream of teaching yoga begins.
*2011*: Enlightenment!
A new beginning in all things! Moving to another state, finding my way towards a dream job. Lastly (but not least important), to join forces with the man of my dreams, my love!
What about you?
I’m interested in your thoughts!
XOXO
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The real stuff…
A day in the life… there can be so much!! After a very recent experience of having to make a choice I think I’ll just start from here.
Choices! Good or tough, they create movement and change toward a direction. What happens when that choice creates heartbreak, can you be so brave to make the right one? Are you able to stay firm in your choice even though it may cause immense pain?
When it relates to matters of love, I’ve never been in a situation where a choice I’ve made caused great pain in my own heart. The circumstances I’ve been faced with usually relate to positive progress for me and heartache/break for others.
Over the last several months I have been in a relationship with an amazing man. With him I felt safe to completely open my heart and truly experience the true joy of love. He also allowed me to be myself in every way, grumpy, loving, sexy, needy, emotional. There were times he would call me on my “stuff”, which typically resulted in drawing closer to each other. I have no doubts his experience was very similar to mine.
In this case the choice… beliefs / religion. Two strong, convicted and compassionate individuals who love each other dearly, faced with one big dinosaur. We each have our convictions, reasons, desires and in the end we individually know what’s next. When you love someone deeply enough to recognize that the differences in your beliefs will create hardship and hinder true happiness, it becomes clear that your paths can no longer be shared.
With tears and heartbreak we have to move forward carrying the love in our hearts with deep respect and honor. For me I think the hardest part will be moving in general for a while…
Have you every experienced a heartbreaking choice? What gave you the strength?
”When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step into the darkness of the unknown. Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen. There will be solid ground to stand on or you will be taught to fly.”
-Anon
Where to start…?
After several months of over-thinking the whole idea of “where to start..?” Today I realized… anywhere is good. Here it goes…
I’ve been a pretty busy lady, who hasn’t right?… well, unless you’re a man.
One thing has been pretty consistent in my life since my last post and that “thing” is yoga! Retreats, teacher training practicum, yoga workshops, home practice… more like sitting on my mat ”meditating”, trying out different classes, teaching classes… this list goes on.
Today, I was walking with Jake (my dog) and the reality of all of the above floated into complete balance with one thought… Yoga has become my passion, it has evolved into every part of my life. It doesn’t matter that I’m gainfully employed in my “dream funder” Advertising Executive job… that has become yoga too! Having a relationship…yoga! Walking with Jake…yoga! Sitting with a glass of wine under the stars + bonus full moon…yoga! Placing a (skateboard)deck order for my Skateboard venture…yoga! You get my point…right?
For those who don’t know me all too well, this is a HUGE realization! If you have the time to skim through my “evolution” blogs (writings during yoga teacher training), you will notice… a girl who TOOK life way too seriously has now become a being who flows with each ebb of a days breeze. Granted, there are some flash backs, fears of the heart, angry thoughts, sarcastic puns, etc. but these are quickly resolved by my passion…yoga!
All that said, I think I will “start” with this… it is possible to find a sense of balance and enjoyment with the “not so fun things” of life once you realize your passion and sense of being. One of the things I’ve stopped doing while finding this balance is writing. Resolution - I’m going to give it some energy again… each week I write at least once.
Here’s where you come in, take a look at the ideas below and let me know your opinion/ideas. I know, I’m not some famous diva who is seeking a nobel prize… but maybe an interview on Oprah (if she comes out of retirement)… obviously joking here. Truth is, I know it took some nudging and self discovery to find this peaceful place, and honestly I love helping people, even if it’s just with a few insightful words. Here it goes:
- Quotes: I love quotes, those who follow me on Facebook know that I post a quote every morning. Direction: pick a quote or two from my weekly posting and expand on it, creative writing/exploration. I’ll even tell you were I find these little gems.
- Day in the life: My discoveries along the way as an advertising executive, yoga teacher, skateboard business owner, lover, friend, daughter, sister and dog mom living my “passion”… challenges, discoveries, short falls, you name it.
What would you find interesting to read about (even if none of the above)? I’d like your thoughts!
BTW… Today’s quote:
The most important adjustment to be made is not in the thermostat but in our own view of what constitutes comfort. –Steven Cox ; Published in today’s edition of “Daily Good” newsletter. http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=4228XOXO
YogaSkaterMediaMavenDivaFashionista – #1: Stuff to take ACTION on
While we’re at it…let’s just put a title on everything! NOT REALLY!
Just in case you’ve just woken up dizzy from a drug induced sleep… it’s 2010! Yes, wake up, shake off the cob webs and set your intentions, resolutions…. GOALS. If you haven’t, what’s wrong with you? If you have, you should probably read those again… just sayin’. Don’t you feel like this is the time of judgement from all sides? I do! … and I’m not putting up with it this time!!!
If you’re on my page, you’re probably sick of all the publicity, rules, guidelines or guilt surrounding the beginning of a new year. Just in case you didn’t notice…. my new year’s resolutions haven’t been published yet. I’ve read plenty, really great ones too! Some I could have written for myself.
This morning I actually had a conversation with myself, which wasn’t very attractive by the way, to get motivated about my “STUFF” for 2010. Well, ladies and gentlemen…. my new motto for this new decade is…. F*ck titles, categories & guilt! It’s all about action, my action!
Here’s my “STUFF”…. there are no rules around these items, but I realized they are the most important to me and probably will always be:
Clarity…. can only come from truly saying what you feel, meaning what you say and deciding to take action!
Security…. money isn’t everything but it does pay the bills. Security comes from doing what you love, puting your heart and soul into it and living the life you’ve manifested by your actions! That’s how the bills get paid.
Love…. is ever-present when your heart is open. You will give love everyday simply through acts of kindness! You will receive love daily when you realize you deserve it!
Moment…. each one should be cherished, no matter how wonderful, amazing, or sucky it may seem. When you actively listen, see, taste and/or feel what is happening around you, your heart will be filled with many gifts! Receive them all.
My “STUFF” all requires ACTION… Today, instead of sitting down wondering how this was all going to happen. I decided to sit down and breathe for a minute. I took each subject in my brain, an overwhelming task, and simply decided… This cannot be given to me, I must take the steps in order to receive the benefits of what’s important to ME.
Here’s MY (aka: YogaSkaterMediaMavenDivaFashionista) list of actions….
- Meditate at least 5 days a week (I need spirituality to stay sane) – Clarity & Love
- Practice MY yoga everyday (for the non-yoga reader, “MY yoga” isn’t always on a mat…it’s how I will live) – Clarity & Moment
- Teach yoga to cancer patients and make it my livelihood – Security & Love
- Learn to ride a skateboard at least 20 miles – Moment & Love
- Speak from my heart ALL THE TIME – Love
- Put my heart into my “current” Media Maven livelihood – (find the passion in junk mail…it’s paying the bills for the stuff I love) – Security
- Taking my inner fashionista to consignment or discount stores instead of dropping loads on “trendy” topics… (exception: Jeans & Shoes) – Security
You may all think I’m crazy! It’s okay….I already know I am! Simply stated and realized…. The things I WANT (as posted in my earlier blog) will be valued more while I’m taking ACTION on my STUFF!
Don’t judge me, these are mine….remember, no rules!!!
Feel free to share your stuff…. I am a good listener/reader.
